Chip Martin was the editor of the award-winning Brown & Martin newsletter. Now Chip contributes “views on life,” for his blog. Following are some of Chip’s best.
- I would gladly trade my caller I.D. for caller I.Q.
- Live each day as if it were your last. Eventually you will be right.
- If you believe in yourself, others will believe in you. And if they fall for that, you can sell them anything.
- You pay peanuts, you get monkeys.
- Doing a job right the first time gets the job done. Doing the job wrong 10 times provides job security.
- It’s only a gambling problem if you’re losing.
- In there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria – Ben Franklin
- I can keep a secret, but the people I tell can’t.
- Hunting without drinking is like fishing.
- If there’s a communication problem around here, I certainly haven’t heard about it!
- Life is a roller coaster. Be careful not to spill your drink.
- A ventriloquist without a puppet is just a person muttering to them self.
- When the winds of change blow hard enough, the most trivial of things can turn into deadly projectiles.
- Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.
- Whatever hits the fan will not be distributed evenly.
- If you always stop to smell the roses, sooner or later you’ll inhale a bee.
- Nothing is impossible for those who don’t have to do it.
- For some, listening is the space they endure before speaking again.
- When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
- If you have to vacuum the bed, it’s time to change the sheets.
- It’s hard to make a come-back when you haven’t been anywhere.
- Justice: A decision in your favor.
- A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel exceptionally good.
- A reason to smile – Every seven minutes someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a poor memory.
- If you say absolutely nothing, it’s called silence. If you write absolutely nothing, it’s called a memo.
- Committee – The unwilling selected to do the unnecessary.
- If the Psychic Hotline people were really any good, wouldn’t they be calling you?
- It’s too bad that stupidity isn’t painful.
- The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
- If sales are not going to plan, maybe there never was a plan.
- Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
- Why is it … there’s never enough money to do it right, but always enough to do it over?
- Comedy is like dynamite. It can move mountains and change the courses of mighty rivers. It can help you communicate ideas more effectively. Or, it can blow your hands off. That’s why we’re here…
- There comes a time in every project when it becomes necessary to shoot the engineers and start production.
